


Rebellious Bonds

by Isilfic (Isilweth)



Category: Lucifer (Comic), Vertigo (Comics)
Genre: Brotherhood, Dysfunctional Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Mythology - Freeform, POV First Person, Religion, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-23
Updated: 2009-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-05 02:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isilweth/pseuds/Isilfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael struggles with relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebellious Bonds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sturmundwank](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sturmundwank/gifts).



I have tried to be my brother's keeper.

Samael and I were together in the beginning, in the shaping of the world. I wanted to be together through eternity. He has always asked all who would listen, troubling questions I could never see the point in asking. Despite this, I believed he loved us, as we loved him.

I have tried to hold him safe when he allowed his hubris to lead him from our Father. Samael would lend me his ear, but he would not _listen_ to me anymore than he would take heed of the advice of any other angel in the Host. His counsel belonged to himself alone. Though, perhaps in retrospect, Lilith had his ear more than I was aware.__

Still, I did not believe he would choose to side against our Father.

Against me.

Against the world and all that was right within it.

I could not have predicted that I would fight my own brother, my kin and beloved. That he would side with the traitorous, demon-spawned Lilim.

"Please," I begged. "Stop this. For you are my brother and I love you."

All my entreaties were met with derision. He offered me a place with him, but Samael would not tell me why he fought, except to say because he could. I felt pity for him then, but I could not betray our Father.

~*~*~*~*~

With Samael's departure, my Father ceased to speak. I took it to mean He was in mourning for His sons, as I was for my brothers. Since my Father was the greatest of all, His grief too, would be greater than mine.

My own grief was great.

I felt more lost with every sigh and every half-worn smile. I listened with disinterest when discussing the ways of Men with Meleos, the defense of the City with Uriel and the scattering of the wretched Lilim with Sandalphon. Samael's opinion had been unique among the Host. There were no others to speak with the voice of dissent and thus create sound strategy and innovation. As it was, we were constantly "in committee", the Host subscribing to an endless series of compromises with no real resolution. It was tiring.

I was tired.

And, I missed him. The Silver City felt empty without his clear denouncements and rebellions. It had fallen prey to those great sins: apathy and bitterness.

Even I was guilty in no small way. I knew Sandalphon had designs against the Host, but I did not care. What havoc or despair could he wrought, in comparison to the harsh rebellion of Samael? (For my brother was Samael still to me and always would be, no matter that he now wore a new name.)

It was because of my inattention that Sandalphon managed to capture me. It was because of my despair that I did not fight him. Had I any prescience of the torture I would endure at his hands, perhaps I would have struggled. Though, guilt also weighed me down with inaction; I deserved a punishment for my failure to keep my family secure.

I could never have imagined a punishment so fitting. One after another, Sandalphon siphoned off my life force, my purpose, my Father's gift to me. I watched, in helpless frustration as Sandalphon created beings in my image.

My children. Gradually, I came to understand that I owed them more than inept passivity. I owed them my might and compassion.

Elaine was my salvation.

~*~*~*~*~

Defying my Father was an unfortunate side effect of protecting Elaine. My Father's omniscient. He understood my need to see to my daughter's safety. It never occurred to me that He had designed us to create rifts in the family, though it made a kind of poetical sense I didn't understand.

A much more delightful side effect was speaking to Samael again. It felt good to create together. To fight on the same side, however briefly. If my purpose was to disagree with my brother, then I bowed to my purpose. I still _missed_ him.

As for my fate, I can only conclude that I was unprepared. I never expected to be the forsaken one. I have always kept the faith and I never needed "keeping".


End file.
